The Problem With....

In our office yesterday, a member of our staff (Let's call him Jim), actually admitted to having extremely small feet for a man. He wears size 5 shoes.

Apparently, the advantage of having small feet is that he can avoid paying VAT on shoes, because he can buy kids shoes. He did openly admit that he has bought ladies shoes in the past.

Makes you think doesn't it?

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap.

Hi folks,

Further research indicates that...

1 in 5 couples are actively engaged in a local swinging scene!

Now, there are 10 people in our office, all with a partner, which means that 2 out of the 9 of us are swingers (because I'm not a swinger you see).

Makes you think doesn't it?

Mufrap.

The problem with mediocrity is that we seem to have accepted it as the norm.

Whether this is the current music scene or the workmanship of tradesmen, we appear to accept mediocrity. Anything over and above the mediocre then appears to be out of this world.

A simple example of this was when a plasterer came to our house to completely re-plaster the bathroom. Not only did he do a great job, but he cleaned up a real mess afterwards, and charged a reasonable price for the job. We sang his praises as you might imagine. However, on second thoughts, shouldn't this be the norm? Why are we singing the praises of a guy who does his job in a professional and competant manner?

I suspect it's because we tend to accept less than average performances from people. And I'm not really sure why.

Why do we accept that Pop Idol and the rubbish it throws up as being the norm, when in effect, it really is completely mediocre (and worse) pop music? Why do we accept so called celebrities who have done nothing to lay claim to 'celebrity status'? Why do we accept that the vast majority of tradesmen never clean their mess up after they've finished?

People, it's time to step out from our beige worlds and put a stop to all that is mediocre and make a stand for excellence. Is this politically incorrect yet again?

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

One problem I find with women is this thing about so called multi tasking. We have heard all the old and tiresome sayings uttered by women....

"I'm a woman, what do you expect? Of course I multi task!"
...and of course...
"Men? Multi task? Don't make me laugh."

Why is it that women folks think they are the only ones who can do more than one thing at a time? It annoys me.

I find on a daily basis lots of women who can concentrate on one thing at a time, and everything else goes by the wayside, but yet are convinced that they can multi task.

I actually tried to find a pic of a woman who was multi tasking on the net, but all I got was pictures of women talking on the phone whilst drinking a cup of coffee! Multi tasking my bottom!!

Ladies...try driving a car whilst rolling a cigarette and changing a CD at the same time, and we'll see who can multi task! Also this morning, I found myself instinctively smoking, masturbating, typing and drinking coffee almost simultaneously! Now that's multi tasking.

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

In my opinion, certain classes of prisoner should be made to repay their debt to society by being used as guineau pigs in clinical trials.

The kind of people who I'm talking about, are terrorists, child murderers, paedophiles, cold blooded killers, people who beat up old people for £2.00, etc etc.

We've recently heard about the 'unfortunate' men who were getting paid to do the trials which went wrong, (although that's another story). Well, what is wrong with using prisoners? If things went wrong, would we cry and weep about how unfortunate these poor prisoners were?

By comitting the terrible acts they are put in prison for, they have foregone any rights to be a member of our fair law abiding country, and instead of complaining about the sub standard conditions they find themselves in, they should be put to some use. Why don't the politicians ask the regular person in the street?

BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN!!! EVER!!!

WHY?
Because we are supposed to be fair minded and respectful of the human rights of these people. We have to be seen to be doing the right thing. It's not politically correct is it?

Well actually it is politically correct. Just ask the victims of the crimes, and the families who have been left to pick up the pieces of their lives after the murder or rape of a loved one.

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

This is amazing, it really is. And it works, unlike all of the other so called modern day religions. Scientology? Catholicism? Islam?

Forget 'em all with the worlds most powerful Magic Eye.

Simply stare into the Magic Eye for 30 seconds and make a wish. This wish will then come true within 1 week.*

That's right, simply stare into the Magic Eye, and watch the weird and wonderful happen. This will program a small but extremely powerful portion of your miracle mind known as the miracle acceptance lobe. When this lobe is programed via staring into the Magic Eye, the miracle you asked for will actually happen! This is scientifically proven.

"When I asked the Miracle Eye for a miracle, it came true within one week. I can now walk to the supermarket and back again, instead of relying on taxis!" Mrs Christine Brampston, Chiswick.

What have you got to lose? Money? Weight? Self respect? Friends?

We dare you to change your life forever!

*If for any reason your wish does not come true, you are probably not wishing hard enough, or indeed long enough. And we at Mufrap El Nibor enterprises will not under any circumstances give a damn or pay out huge sums of dosh to weak willed people who see this as a quick way to rid themselves of the unhappy lives they have blundered into, without taking responsibility for themselves. Is that clear?

The problem with women is in my opinion a much wider issue than discussing whether women are indeed a problem.

The issue here, is to ask ourselves if in fact, the problem does not lie with women as a whole. What I mean by this, is how can we ask a question of society, when that very self same society is made up of around 50% women?

Quite obviously, the problem with women is a deeper issue in the wider sphere, and this is not the forum to argue against that case, or for it in fact.

The problem with women stems from a radical approach to the issues, (pending a successful resolution), and I for one would never argue for, against or even in favour of, an approach such as this.

The problem with women is also an apparent disclosure of an issue, to which only highly ranking goverment offials are privy, and we are left hanging there by beaurocracy gone mad!

I think you'll agree.

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor

Yesterday a mate of mine who sits next me at work admitted something that shocked me.....and I quote...

"I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is!"

It was quite a relief to hear that my mate wasn't gay obviously, but I really had no idea his boyfriend was gay. I've been recently talking to him about manly things like football and cock fighting, only now to realise he wasn't interested.

I for one will watch what I'm saying in the future as it can land you in all sorts of hot water!

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

The problem with the inner cities, is that there are far too many people living there.

Therefore its bound to happen that people get each others nerves and.... stab, rape, rob, deal in drugs, batter children, batter old people, steal cars, shoot each other, get wasted on cheap booze, carry guns and knives, joyride, have teenage pregnancies, become drug addicts, have no common decency, and to cap it all, pride themselves on being lazy good for nothing layabouts, being looked after by us tax payers.

Obviously it's got nothing to do with their dim witted low life attitudes and the wearing of shell suits, but more to do with the number of them living in close proximity to each other.

I'm sure it'd drive us law abiding tax paying working people with some pride in our lives, to do the same. Wouldn't it?

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

In my opinion, the problem that New Labour has got is that there aren't enough decent looking women in the party!

Check out the Tory conference for example, they have all the best looking birds in the party at the front. What do Labour do? Have all the dodgy boilers there.

No wonder Blair and his stupid politically correct brigade are having problems in the opinion polls.

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.