The Problem With....

The long awaited cabinet re-shuffle by singer and chirpy cockney Joe Brown has been announced today.

Brown's long awaited announcement was greeted with a mixture of excitement and disdain as he announced:

1. The photo of his daughter will be moved to the mantelpiece, leaving room for his open university degree (Humanities) certificate.

2. The ornament which was broke during a wild rock n roll party is to be replaced by a framed certificate awarded to Joe by Nelson Mandela for his outstanding mark in his advanced drivers test.

3. Joe's longest serving member of the cabinet, the Diploma in Carpentry has been sensationally moved to the attic, with his newest award, the Confined Spaces certificate (attendance only) taking its place.

An insider who didn't want to be identified said this morning that Brown was satisfied his re-shuffle would meet with the approval of the electorate, but warned of tough times ahead.

Kindest Regards,

Mufrap El Nibor.

Hello there,

I was sat here wondering what I would and could do if I found £1000 and came up with the following ways to spend your wad:

1. Hand it in to the police.
2. Keep it and donate the wad to a charity.
3. Share my good fortune with my family and friends.
4. Secretly leave it somewhere for someone less privelaged than me.
5. Gamble it all away in one fell swoop in the hope of at least doubling the size of your wad.
6. Buy a new lawnmower complete with a storm break multiplier.

Any other good ideas?

Kindest regards,

Mufrap.